Looking Ahead

I have to remember that there is a goal to focus on. There are people I want to prove to that I did it. I did it without their help and with them telling me I can't in my face. I want to prove that just because there are a million voices telling you no you have to be the one to scream yes. The willpower you need to find to strive towards whatever goal your looking for starts and ends with you and only you. I think that's what I'm finally learning. I can't let the others around me influence the way I eat, the decisions I make or what I do. I do what I want to do, eat what I should eat and what I know I "want to eat" and decide how to live my life. Looking back I notice a lot of the time I didn't do a lot of things for me, I went along with what other people wanted and what they thought would be fun for me to do. Well now I see that all of it is what they wanted to do. I don't know when I became so nice as to wanting to please everyone around me that I forgot to care for myself, but it happened. 
Lately, I 've been able to remember that I'm the one that matters, not everyone else. I make my choices for me because quite frankly if I want to sit at home all day and not do a damn thing I should be able to sit at home all day and not do a thing. People would always try and get me to go out or to come over, but I need to focus on health and working out, health and working out, health and working out. Those are my focuses, those two things are going to make me better, make me happier, make me well me. It isn't about having the best body in the world, it's about having my best body and the one that gets me to be as healthy as I possibly can. That's all I truly want is to look at myself and know that I am healthy and that I am at a good weight. A lot needs to happen for me to get where I need to be but I'm finally letting go of negativity and realizing this is for me and I need to this for me and be happy for me. 
It's my turn to live my life and the people who don't agree with the changes I'm making or the people who feel the need to tell me "oh good luck," in a snotty tone of voice, they can all genuinely go to hell. I don't have time to believe the shit you say. You are the reason so many people lose sight of themselves, you are the reason people give up. The reason people don't give up is because they have supporters saying "remember your goal" and "remember why you started in the first place." Those are the people I need to keep in my life, the go-getters and the ones who love me and keep me pushing towards my goal. I can't wait to prove to people that I could do it. I'm going to have to be patient but when that time comes it will be the greatest day to show everyone I can do it, and I did do it.